5 WEEKS PREGNANT | UPDATE

Good morning! Today I've been feeling really nauseous and have been throughout the night. I managed to get 9 hours sleep but kept waking up and when I did I felt sick. It's now nearly 11am and I've not eaten a thing. I'm not too bad if I keep still but as soon as I move it starts!

TMI - but I also have diarrhea. I can't work out whether this is pregnancy or if I'm actually ill. Also I'm suspicious of the Pregnacare Max tablets I'm taking as I've had diarrhea related issues ever since I've been pregnant and taking them.

Anyway....

The tests above were taken a few days ago when I was 4+5 and 25 DPO. I was so happy to see a test line stronger than the control line on the First Response and the 3+ on the Clearblue. I was expecting 1-2 as it measures from the date you conceived rather than how many weeks pregnant you are. I'm hoping this means I have a nice strong pregnancy and high levels of hcg.

This week's symptoms have been:

Feeling very thirsty.

Feeling bloated / heavy stomach.

Mild period-like pains / cramps.

Just under the nipples hurting (on and off).

The nipples stinging (on and off).

Pinching / stretching on both sides of the womb.

Feeling to hot, then too cold.

Peeing all the time (which now seems to have stopped since giving up de-caf coffee).

Heightened sense of smell.

Very light brown discharge when I wipe.

I've found the above symptom the most worrying and called the Early Pregnancy Unit for some reassurance yesterday. They said it's very common in early pregnancy and not to worry unless I'm in pain, it get worse or turns into red blood.

I don't get it every time I wipe but just every now and again. It's happened at least once a day for the past 5 days. Triggers seem to include going for a walk or for a number 2!!!

You've gotta love the TMI here. Lol. 

Jess. xx

4 WEEKS PREGNANT | UPDATE

I'm still in shock from finding out that this miracle has happened! ☺

Since we got our BFP last Friday I've been creating a pregnancy test progression line which is proving to be very reassuring. Today I'm 20 DPO (days past ovulation) and about 4 weeks gone. The test line came up as strong as the control line which was amazing to see. They get darker and darker every day. I feel so incredibly happy right now!

So far the only symptoms I have had is acid reflux and mild period-like pains/cramps. I get these on and off every day. It's the same as that feeling when you're about the come on. Yesterday I had the tiniest amount of brown (barely there) blood when I wiped. It was so light I could hardly see it and it only happened once. I also think things are starting to smell a bit too. Twice now I've wondered what the smell was and my fiance and I laughed as we kinda forgot it's part of being pregnant. 

In other news, we have our first scan booked for 19th Feb when I will be 6+6. I feel very blessed to be having one so early. When I had my miscarriage back in September 2017 the nurse at the Early Pregnancy Unit said if I ever get pregnant again I can have as many scans as I like. How kind is that?

Anyway, fingers crossed everything works out this time and I'll be sure to keep you all updated.

Jess. xx

MIRACLES HAPPEN!!!!

Hey guys.

I know it's been a while! I hope you're all okay?

Just a quick update - my fiance and I were about to undergo a second IVF treatment but privately. This month was our last attempt at trying naturally. However, I can't believe I'm writing this - we got a BFP this morning. We have conceived naturally!  :)

I know it's very early days, but miracles do happen!!!

I just wanted to share our news and give hope to anyone that needs it! xx

Jess. xx

P.S: I have no pregnancy symptoms at all other than acid reflux at night! Totally different to last time when we had IVF. It was like symptom central back then.

The only thing I have had is a strange pulling sensation when I roll over in bed. I had that once last time and have had it twice this week. 

OUR FIRST ATTEMPT AT IVF | TIMELINE UPDATE

Thurs 8th June: Started IVF injections.

Tues 11th July: Egg collection.

Thurs 13th July: 2 embryos transferred.

2 week wait.

Thurs 27th July: Pregnancy blood test at the hospital. Positive test confirmed in the afternoon.

Wed 16th Aug: First scan. 1 foetus seen with a very strong heartbeat. 

Sat 26th Aug: Pregnancy symptoms have disappeared. A private scan confirms the baby/foetus no longer has a heartbeat. It's measuring as it should, minus 1 day so it is about 8 weeks + 3 days old.

There's no bleeding or sign of miscarriage for 2 weeks and 2 days.

Tues 12th Sept: Went into labour for 10 hours. 

Wed 13th Sept: Went into labour again. 

Thurs 14th Sept: Emergency op to remove foetus under anesthetic.

Light bleeding following the op (for 17 days with 2 days where it's heavy in between) which turns into crazy, out of control heavy bleeding for another 10 days. Then it suddenly stopped for 2 days, then there was a night of heavy bleeding and then it pretty much stopped). 

Thurs 12th Oct: I finally get a negative pregnancy test.

Sun 15th Oct: (4 weeks and 3 days after the op). The bleeding has stopped.

Sat 21st Oct: I get positive ovulation tests on a cheap Amazon test and a Clearblue smiley face one. So the crazy bleeding was a period on top of my miscarriage. This is a great sign as it means we can have started trying again!!!!

Sun 22nd Oct: Positive ovulation tests.

Mon 23rd Oct: Positive ovulation tests.

Tues 24th Oct: Positive ovulation tests.

Wed 25th Oct: Positive ovulation tests.

Thurs 26th Oct: Finally after 5 days of positive ovulation tests I get a negative one!

If anyone knows possible reasons why I have had positive ovulation tests 5 days in a row please enlighten me! After I had the miscarriage I followed my hormone levels back down to 0 when I finally got a negative pregnancy test so it's not left over hormones from the pregnancy. 

I took another pregnancy test on Tues which came up negative too. Just out of interest really as at the time I couldn't be pregnant because I've been bleeding too much to try for another baby. Obviously we've been making the most of these positive ovulation tests though. Ha ha!

Jess. xx

MY FIRST IVF PREGNANCY | TIMELINE OF EVENTS

Hey guys.

Today I want to post a timeline of events so I can easily look back at how long things take etc if I need to. I'm still bleeding after having had an op and am trying to work out if I've had or when I'm going to have a period and when I'm going to ovulate. 

Despite feeling like it's all been a bit of an ordeal (an ordeal that's been going on for over 4 months now!!!), memories fade fast and we're not ready to give up just yet! 

Maybe they'll be a natural pregnancy. If not, we'll probably have IVF round 2 within the next few months. 

All I can say is watch this space. : ) 

In the meantime, here's my timeline of IVF events:

Thurs 8th June: Started IVF injections.

Tues 11th July: Egg collection.

Thurs 13th July: 2 embryos transferred.

2 week wait.

Thurs 27th July: Pregnancy blood test at the hospital. Positive test confirmed in the afternoon.

Wed 16th Aug: First scan. 1 foetus seen with a very strong heartbeat. 

Sat 26th Aug: Pregnancy symptoms have disappeared. A private scan confirms the baby/foetus no longer has a heartbeat. It's measuring as it should, minus 1 day so it is about 8 weeks + 3 days old.

There's no bleeding or sign of miscarriage for 2 weeks and 2 days.

Tues 12th Sept: Went into labour for 10 hours. 

Wed 13th Sept: Went into labour again. 

Thurs 14th Sept: Emergency op to remove foetus under anesthetic.

Light bleeding following the op (for 17 days with 2 days where it's heavy in between) which turns into crazy, out of control heavy bleeding for another 10 days. Then it suddenly stopped for 2 days, then there was a night of heavy bleeding and now it's mild). 

Thurs 12th Oct: I finally get a negative pregnancy test.

As I said previously, I'm using ovulation tests every day to try and work out if some of this crazy bleeding was a period and when I'm going to ovulate! I'll update this post when I work it out!

On a side note, Amazon is a great place to buy cheap ovulation and pregnancy tests in bulk (I'll link the ones I get below - this seller supplies the NHS so they work really well). Boy do we get through a lot of those!

I'm using the cheap ovulation tests every day and when I see any sign of two lines I'll double up with a Clearblue (smiley face) test just to be sure!! I got the idea from one of my favourite YouTubers who said she uses cheap tests from Amazon. I don't know why I didn't think of it before! 

Jess. xx

SURGICAL MANAGEMENT OF MISCARRIAGE

It's been over a month since I last posted on here and the long and the short of it is that the drugs didn't work for me at all. I ended up having to have Surgical Management of Miscarriage (SMM). 

4 days after I took the second lot of pills I had another scan at the Early Pregnancy Unit, which of course confirmed that the fetus was still in there. I continued to wait it out and see if I miscarried naturally. A week later I went into labour at 3am and it lasted 10 hours. I was getting contractions every 3 minutes that would last 1 minute and was bleeding like crazy. 

Stuck on the toilet for 10 hours (other than a random 2 hour break I got) I felt lucky that my finace and mum were by my side. Yes it was embarrassing being half naked and in labour in front of them but I felt so exhausted I didnt care. My mum was fab and talked me through what to do with the breathing etc.

When labour finally ended around 1pm the next day, everyone was sure the fetus must have come out. The amount of blood and clots and goodness knows what else was insane. I had to use Ibuprofen, Paracetamol, Codeine and anti-sickness medication to get me through. It didn't take the pain away but made it slightly more bearable. 

After going through all that you can imagine my horror when it all started again at 3am the next day. Labour went on once again for 2 hours and it was every bit as awful as before. At 8.30am I was straight back on the phone to the Early Pregnancy Unit and back at the hospital for 10am.

I had a scan which once again confirmed that the fetus was still in there. A little head and body, fully intact, just led there like nothing is wrong. I couldn't bloody believe it!

Feeling crazily exhausted and at my wits end with it all I agreed that I had no option but to give in and have the op. Looking back I think I was mad to think doing it naturally was the way to go! Luckily they booked me in for the next day and I was also first on the list.

The operation went well but it was over 3 weeks ago now and I'm still bleeding heavily. 

Tomorrow I'm going to ring the doctors and try and work out if this is normal or not. 

Jess. xx

MISSED MISCARRIAGE TREATMENT

I'm now 9+3, only there was no heartbeat found whilst having an emergency scan last Sat (you can read that post here). At that point I was 8+4 and measuring at approx 8+3. I'm having what's known as a missed miscarriage. Call it what you like, delayed miscarriage, silent miscarriage. It's all the same thing. My baby or fetus has died but my body is still holding on. There's no bleeding and suddenly I've been faced with a big decision to make.

After having the scan on Sat it was 3 days before I spoke to the Early Pregnancy Unit about what I could possibly do. It was 4 days before I was seen and scanned and 5 days before I took some vaginal pessaries (Misoprostol) in a bid to medically manage the miscarriage. That was yesterday morn.

The vaginal pessaries did not work. I rang the hospital today and was seen early afternoon. I was given 4 more pessaries to try (I had to insert these all in one go). But whilst at home and trying to insert the first one, I found all the others inside. Still intact and completely undissolved. I picked them out one by one and put them on a tissue, totally dismayed.

I rang the hospital once again and we agreed that perhaps I should take the tablets orally instead. Off to the hospital we went for the second time today to pick up another pill. This time I put them in my mouth (between the gums and cheek) and I left them there for an hour. Then I swirled them around a bit and then put them back between my cheeks and gums.

Eventually I swallowed the chalky pulp, which didn't really taste of anything at all. It's now been nearly 4 hours since I first put them in. Other than a sore throat I'm currently feeling nothing at all. I'll keep you all updated on what happens next. Fingers crossed this works as tomorrow it will be 1 week since no heartbeat was seen.

Having a miscarriage is bad enough, but this is like being tortured because it's just going on and on. I feel like I'm stuck in a nightmare and totally in limbo land. I'm scared of what's going to happen and how bad it will be. I'm sick of being stuck in the house and unable to get on with my normal life.

Jess. xx